1999 Race Reports
June 6, 1999
White City, Illinois
9th of 11 in Big B
Seems like whenever I take Matt with me to race, conditions are just
horrible.  There had been some rain during the week and the course was
total slop.  Plus, it was hotter than a blowtorch and after a mere 10
minutes of racing I was dead tired.  Near the beginning of the race I got
hung up on a steep hill and lost some time and energy getting back up
the hill on the second try.  My front tire (the crappy Bridgestone...jeez,
why didn't I change it!?!?) was working just as horribly as it was in the
Cuba mudfest.  Absolutely no control, just slip-sliding in whatever
direction.  Matt and I had scouted one of the steeper hills before the race,
so it didn't give me any problems.  Somehow I got ahead of him, but then
my throttle decided to stick wide open and I rammed into a tree.  He was
behind me just as I got going again, but then he passed me when I
missed a turn and went off the course for awhile.  The throttle stuck a
couple more times and would cause more problems in future races.

At one point I crashed, got back up, and then felt my 'nads on fire.  Well, I
didn't actually feel them (I'm not like that, during a race anyway), it was
just the sensation.  I stopped to see what the problem was (O.K., I didn't
actually look at them right then; that came later) and found the gas cap
breather line had come off, and when I crashed some gas had spilled
onto my pants.  The burning finally subsided after riding another 10
minutes in hellish pain.  I seriously thought about dumping the bike and
jumping into the creek.

The loop was 12 miles long and took over an hour to complete the first
time around.  On the second loop I caught up to Matt, who had stopped
along the trail with fouled spark plug, so he was basically done for the
day.  After a 5-minute rest talking to Matt, I felt much better and actually
rode pretty well for awhile.  The course dried out some as the race went
on.  But the last couple of miles were torture.  I had no energy left as I
crossed the finish line and as expected, my results were less than
impressive, but I did beat Matt (he was in last place).

June 27, 1999
St. Joe State Park
Park Hills, Missouri
10th of 12 in Open B
This was the annual March of Dimes charity race at St. Joe State Park.  
KTM brought their factory truck out, along with Guy Cooper (their paid
National rider) and his hot wife.  The throttle problems reared their ugly
head right at the start.  The bike absolutely refused to start when the flag
dropped.  It had run fine before that.  I had to pull off to the side while row
after row took off and I sat there and kicked like hell. Looking back on it, I
think the carburetor was sticking open, which meant the more I kicked the
more I flooded the engine.  I finally got going just before the ladies
started, and then about 300 yards into the race the throttle stuck open in
a section of whoops.  I crashed hard and bruised my thigh while the ladies
all passed me, but I caught up to them later.  They are much faster than
most people think.  Later on in the race the bike was running bad, like I
fouled a plug or something.  I finished the lap and then went back to my
truck and wasted a lot of time changing the plug, and it ran just as bad
with the new one.  The throttle stuck open a few more times, but I was
more prepared for it and didn't crash.  I started fearing the motorcycle, as
if I was riding a horse with a mind of its own...very scary.  No control
whatsoever, just hang on for your life.  A nasty storm blew in during the
last lap and the St. Joe sand flats turned into a reincarnation of the Dust
Bowl.  Then the rain came down hard, just in time for me to have to load
up the bike and change out of dirty clothes.  I didn't stick around to see
how bad I did (found out later on the internet).

July 11, 1999
Tebbetts, Missouri
8th of 11 in Open B
After some rain, I assumed this course would be in bad shape, but trail
conditions turned out nearly perfect.  It was a typical rocky course, 10 or
11 miles long, except the trail was much faster than normal.  Nothing tight,
all 3rd, 4th, and 5th gear stuff.  There was one section about a mile long
that was a rocky creek bed.  Very tough.  I just couldn't figure out how
people could be going so fast. There was one place where you could go
WFO (wide f***ing open) for almost a mile, if you had the balls (I didn't).  
My finish was disappointing because I didn't really make any mistakes, did
my usual 4 laps, and still ended up in the bottom of my class. I was
beginning to wonder if I really belonged in the B class.
White City, Illinois
Park Hills, Missouri
Tebbetts, Missouri